ChexPop

I've just returned home from seeing Michael Jackson's THIS IS IT. I thought my reaction would be the same as that of others, most famous among them, Oprah. At the show's conclusion she felt sad at the loss of such a huge talent. Friends have told me they felt the same. I assumed I would be no different. While I felt somewhat sad, I was more preoccupied with MJ's skeletal appearance. I probably spent the better part of the film, studying his vocal and physical capacity for singing and dancing.

There were moments of "wow". I couldn't believe that at 50, Michael still had the voice and the moves. He still had the "magic". Backed up by younger, more virile, more powerful dancers, no one could "hold a candle" to MJ. He was still unique. As always, his stage presence was magnetic. The nuances of his movements were still his alone, never to be copied exactly. How could anyone mimic what came so naturally to him? Michael's dancing was never solely about technique; rather, it was always about performing. He was the consummate entertainer. He "played to the audience". He knew how to "hold" them. He was the hypnotist; his fans, willing participants. He brought them along to soaring heights and returned them to their seats breathless, aching for more. Michael's audiences loved to "ride the roller coaster" with him. And he was only too happy to oblige.

Amazingly, MJ's vocal range was still intact. He didn't strain for the top notes. He had no problem belting out the lyrics as he had always done. My eyes watered as if I were watching his video image from the past, when he pleaded "What about us?" in Earth Song. Like all great singer/dancers, Michael could still do both without compromising the quality. Yes, he has been entertaining since the age of 5; but I kept reminding myself that he was now 50 and no "spring chicken", or rooster! And like his previous tours, BAD when he was in his late 20s and HISTORY, a decade later, THIS IS IT would have been just as energetic. Michael always one-upped himself in his tours, and the last would have been his "greatest show on earth" to rival his role models in that arena, Barnum and Bailey.

The noticeable difference between the more youthful Michael of past performances and the middle-aged performer on the big screen tonight, was his stamina. It was obvious that singing and dancing like his former self, left MJ breathy. His thin frame looked as though he could have easily been toppled by a gust of wind. I wondered if he had to take a break after running through each song. I also wondered if he would have had more stamina, had he not been addicted to drugs. Of course insomnia didn't help matters.

So yes I was sad that Michael Jackson's life ended so tragically. I will always pity him not having a soul mate, someone who loved him and whose life was part and parcel of his history on this earth. I wish Michael could have lived happily ever after with his Disney princess: his own Cinderella, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty. I wish they could have raised children together in love and laughter; growing old as partners until the end of the fairy tale.

Michael made so many dreams come true for his fans and for children throughout the world. I wish all of his dreams could have come true for him. Certainly some did, but perhaps not the ones that mattered most in the end. I will always be sad for Michael Jackson, the human being.

Because of my enormous attention to detail, I will be seeing THIS IS IT a couple more times. Doing so allows me to re-evaluate my opinion. Each time I will undoubtedly notice things I missed previously. I have done this with my daughter's ballet performances. Watching multiple shows made me feel I had gleaned all I could. I left with no questions unanswered.

I also think I will finally leave THIS IS IT feeling that an older, wiser Michael found contentment in the love of family, friends and fans. But above all else, I sense that the love he shared with his children will show through as having sustained him and provided him the happiness which eluded him heretofore. I think I will leave feeling satisfied that Michael Jackson died a happy man. That is my sincere hope.